Experience earlier this week. I had to sign a bunch of documents and in the body of one of the documents it described me as: “an UNMARRIED WOMAN.” Okay, upon seeing that I was “an UNMARRIED WOMAN” I got very tickled.

First, because it was in all capital letters. Why was it in all caps, just in case there was some misunderstanding? Funny, right?

Secondly, the only thing that was missing from the description was the word “BLACK.” For some strange reason this made me think of a young, virgin, slave girl for sale on the auction block. Had the word “BLACK” actually been included in my description it would have read: “UNMARRIED BLACK WOMAN,” but that certainly wouldn’t be the politically correct thing to put in writing in the year 2013.

The irony of all of this is that, though I have been divorced for several years, I have never  thought of myself as either single or married. Well, I’m clearly “NOT” married, but you know. Yeah, I know, “CRAZY.” That would be for a different conversation, though. Today, I can’t even begin to make anyone understand the logic behind my previous state of mind with regards to my “MARITAL STATUS.” But, I must say, looking down on a legal document and seeing the words “UNMARRIED WOMAN” finally cleared it up for me. I am not divorced, widowed, or separated. I am merely “an UNMARRIED WOMAN.” In all honesty, this has always been my status. Before I was married I was clearly a “SINGLE WOMAN.” Yet, when I got married I was kind of, sort of, an “UNMARRIED WOMAN,” long story. Once my divorce was final I officially became an “UNMARRIED WOMAN.” And this week it was confirmed. To some extent I have been on the proverbial auction block for some time now–albeit a different kind of auction block (little virgin, slave girl reference, remember).

Don’t worry, there are lots of adjectives that describe me:


…to name a few. And let’s not forget:


Simply TRB

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My name is Taya R. Baker, but I write under the pen name T. R. Baker. By day I work for a state court judge; by night I write, copy edit for new authors, and provide scoping services to court reporters. I’m the oldest of my parents’ four children, and the only girl.